Dear Body,
You and I have been through so much
I know at times we have not seen eye to eye
There have been times I have felt so angry with you
I might even say betrayed by you!
You have not always shown up the way I wanted
Now I know it is important to forgive and forget
Not hash out old things
BUT
Dare I say….
I have a few lingering things to say to you!
The way you sprouted my size 8 feet before the rest of my body had a chance
Remember the jokes?
“Skis attached to two small twigs!”
Here comes the flat chested” swamp land indentions for boobs” comments,
while other girls seemed so blessed in this area.
The monthly “ visitor” that started way before my boobs could make their own debut appearance
Those middle school years can be awkward!
Working so hard to control and contort you to meet the ultimate “female form” of 90s culture
Diets
Exercise
Starving my soul to fit in.
Through all this I tried to make you small feared you would take up
“God forbid, too much space!”
It all seemed unbearable!
Stumbling with my size 8 feet,
Clumsily wading through the body acceptance desert
Working to find my way to love and body acceptance
You and I locked eyes for a moment,
You and me seemed like we had made up.
We were friends again
Then came the adult years of trying to get pregnant, fertility treatments and then what felt like the ultimate blow
Infertility
You and me were
A once seen confidant, you became a conspirator!
A now familiar place you and me
Years of silence grew between us
I stopped trying to engage you
You became a bag of bones that simply carried me around
A vehicle with a broken tail light and chipped faded exterior
Oh how you disappointed!
You however remained constant
You carried me through the forest of uncertainty
You were a landing to receive my rainstorms of tears
YOU simply held me
And in this
My heart slowly found her way back to you
I began to walk, run and stride towards things once lost
I looked down at you
My steady, consistent and always present size 8 feet
I paused
In awe of you
I took in an appreciative breath into this once lost -Now beautiful being
and uttered to you
"Thank you"
Dear feet
Dear lungs
Dear heart
"I love you"
My Dear Body
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